I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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