I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
