so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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