omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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