His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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