I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
