Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
