A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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