Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
