am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
