I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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