Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
