She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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