The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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