i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
