so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize