Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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