God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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