Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
