My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
