Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
