I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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