She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
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I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
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The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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