I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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