First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
