I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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