i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
