You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
