absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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