my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
