the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
