It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
