TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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