...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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