there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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