HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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