on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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