One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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