Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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