I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
