I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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