doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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