I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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