His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
