i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
