So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Someone stole a lamp last night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
