The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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