Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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