have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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