Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
