So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...