I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.