drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.