somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize