I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I could fuck to npr.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
