can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
