Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
