my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
