what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
