Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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