Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
