Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
