Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
