I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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