I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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