Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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